I sat in my chair quietly next to my Mom & Dad as my Grade-IV teacher gave them an update on my progress at school.
“Your child is a slow learner,” said the school teacher quietly.
I held my breath and sank a little lower into my chair. I looked up at my Dad to see if I was in trouble. My father glanced down, smiled and gave me a quick wink.
On the way home from the parent-teacher meeting, I thought about what my teacher had called me – ‘Slow Learner.’ Deep down, I knew that what she really meant was that I was dumb.
Later that evening, my Mom & Dad came into my room carrying a piece of paper and a pen.
They sat down on the side of the bed and said, “We want to talk to you about what your teacher said today.”
“A slow learner,” I replied. I had already taken the words to heart.
“That’s right,” said my Dad as my Mom wrote the words ‘Slow Learner’ on the piece of paper.
My parents then held up the piece of paper in front me and purposefully tore it into two.
My eyes widened in surprise.
“Your teacher was wrong,” said my Dad as they continued to tear the paper into smaller and smaller pieces.
“You’re not a slow learner.”
“I’m not?”
“No and starting tomorrow, you & we are going to show that your teacher was wrong, OK?” said my Mom.
“OK” I hugged my mom, snuggled into my pillow and fell asleep with a smile on my face and a warm glow in my heart.
From that day on, my parents spent one hour every day helping me with my reading and writing. By the end of the year, I was doing much better at school and, interestingly, no one ever labelled me ‘a slow learner’ again.
My parents knew that when children receive a label from a person in authority, such as a teacher or a parent, they often take that label to heart, and it becomes a part of their self-identity for the rest of their lives.
To avoid this from happening to their child, my parents created a tangible representation of the ‘slow learner’ label and tore it up in front of me so that the label would not become a part of the child’s self-concept.
Today, I would like to thank my Mom & Dad for what they did.
Think about the labels that people have given to you, your kids, in the past and at present.
Perhaps you were given a label by one of your parents, your teacher, your spouse or your boss. What is the label that resonates in your mind?
Is there a label that has become a part of your self-identity because a person in a position of authority gave it to you?
If so, write this label down on a blank sheet of paper and hold it up to see it for what it really is – A label.
It is a label – nothing more. It is not part of you and you do not have to accept it as part of your self-identity any longer.
As you begin to see the label for what it really is, rip it in half and enjoy the feeling of destroying the label once and for all.
When you do this exercise, you will feel a surge of motivation to take action to ensure that no one attempts to give you this label again in the future.
Just as my parents took action and helped me with my school work, make sure you follow through and do whatever you need to do to eliminate the remnants of the label from your life forever.
REMEMBER, SOMEBODY’S OPINION ABOUT YOU DOESN’T HAVE TO BECOME YOUR REALITY
A teacher’s / parent’s job is not to create children in his/her own image, but to develop children who can create their own image.
You Can Do It – It’s Possible!